The Second Part of KING HENRY IV

THE SECOND PART OF KING HENRY IV

PUBLISHED BY Project Gutenberg.org
July, 2000

INDUCTION.

Enter Rumour.

Open your Eares: For which of you will stop The vent of Hearing, when loud Rumor speakes? I, from the Orient, to the drooping West (Making the winde my Post-horse) still unfold The Acts commenced on this Ball of Earth. Upon my Tongue, continuall Slanders ride, The which, in every Language, I pronounce, Stuffing the Eares of them with false Reports: I speake of Peace, while covert Enmitie (Under the smile of Safety) wounds the World: And who but Rumour, who but onely I Make fearfull Musters, and prepar'd Defence, Whil'st the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefes, Is thought with childe, by the sterne Tyrant, Warre, And no such matter? Rumour, is a Pipe Blowne by Surmises, Ielousies, Conjectures; And of so easie, and so plaine a stop, That the blunt Monster, with uncounted heads, The still discordant, wavering Multitude, Can play upon it. But what neede I thus My well-knowne Body to Anathomize Among my houshold? Why is Rumour heere? I run before King Harries victory, Who in a bloodie field by Shrewsburie Hath beaten downe yong Hotspurre, and his Troopes, Quenching the flame of bold Rebellion, Even with the Rebels blood. But what meane I To speake so true at first? My Office is To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell Under the Wrath of Noble Hotspurres Sword: And that the King, before the Dowglas Rage Stoop'd his Annointed head, as low as death. This have I rumour'd through the peasant-Townes, Betweene the Royall Field of Shrewsburie, And this Worme-eaten-Hole of ragged Stone, Where Hotspurres Father, old Northumberland, Lyes crafty sicke. The Postes come tyring on, And not a man of them brings other newes Then they have learn'd of Me. From Rumours Tongues, They bring smooth-Comforts-false, worse then True-wrongs.

1. ACT I. SCENE II.

Enter Falstaffe, and Page.
Fal

Sirra, you giant, what saies the Doct[or]. to my water?

Pag.

He said sir, the water it selfe was a good healthy water: but for the party that ow'd it, he might have more diseases then he knew for

Fal

Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at mee: the braine of this foolish compounded Clay-man, is not able to invent any thing that tends to laughter, more then I invent, or is invented on me. I am not onely witty in my selfe, but the cause that wit is in other men. I doe heere walke before thee, like a Sow, that hath o'rewhelm'd all her Litter, but one. If the Prince put thee into my Service for any other reason, then to set mee off, why then I have no judgement. Thou horson Mandrake, thou art fitter to be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heeles. I was never mann'd with an Agot till now: but I will sette you neyther in Gold, nor Silver, but in vilde apparell, and send you backe againe to your Master, for a Jewell. The Iuuenall (the Prince your Master) whose Chin is not yet fledg'd, I will sooner have a beard grow in the Palme of my hand, then he shall get one on his cheeke: yet he will not sticke to say, his Face is a Face-Royall. Heaven may finish it when he will, it is not a haire amisse yet: he may keepe it still at a Face-Royall, for a Barber shall never earne six pence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever since his Father was a Batchellour. He may keepe his owne Grace, but he is almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said M[aster]. Dombledon, about the Satten for my short Cloake, and Slops?

Pag.

He said sir, you should procure him better Assurance, then Bardolfe: he wold not take his Bond & yours, he lik'd not the Security

Fal.

Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton, may his Tongue be hotter, a horson Achitophel; a Rascally-yea-forsooth-knave, to beare a Gentleman in hand, and then stand upon Security? The horson smooth-pates doe now weare nothing but high shoes, and bunches of Keyes at their girdles: and if a man is through with them in honest Taking-up, then they must stand upon Securitie: I had as liefe they would put Rats-bane in my mouth, as offer to stoppe it with Security. I look'd hee should have sent me two and twenty yards of Satten (as I am true Knight) and he sends me Security. Well, he may sleep in Security, for he hath the horne of Abundance: and the lightnesse of his Wife shines through it, and yet cannot he see, though he have his owne Lanthorne to light him. Where's Bardolfe?

Pag.

He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse

Fal.

I bought him in Paules, and hee'l buy mee a horse in Smithfield. If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes, I were Mann'd, Hors'd, and Wiv'd. Enter Chiefe Justice, and Servant.

Pag.

Sir, heere comes the Nobleman that committed the Prince for striking him, about Bardolfe.

Fal.

Wait close, I will not see him

Ch.Just.

What's he that goes there?

Servant.

Falstaffe, and't please your Lordship

Just

He that was in question for the Robbery?

Ser.

He my Lord, but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury: and (as I heare) is now going with some Charge, to the Lord John of Lancaster

Just.

What to Yorke? Call him backe againe

Ser.

Sir John Falstaffe

Fal.

Boy, tell him, I am deafe

Pag.

You must speake lowder, my Master is deafe

Just

I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good. Go plucke him by the Elbow, I must speake with him

Ser.

Sir John

Fal.

What? a yong knave and beg? Is there not wars? Is there not imployment? Doth not the K[ing]. lack subjects? Do not the Rebels want Soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to begge, then to be on the worst side, were it worse then the name of Rebellion can tell how to make it

Ser.

You mistake me Sir

Fal.

Why sir? Did I say you were an honest man? Setting my Knight-hood, and my Souldiership aside, I had lyed in my throat, if I had said so

Ser.

I pray you (Sir) then set your Knighthood and your Souldier-ship aside, and give mee leave to tell you, you lye in your throat, if you say I am any other then an honest man

Fal.

I give thee leave to tell me so? I lay a-side that which growes to me? If thou get'st any leave of me, hang me: if thou tak'st leave, thou wer't better be hang'd: you Hunt-counter, hence: Auant

Ser.

Sir, my Lord would speake with you

Just

Sir John Falstaffe, a word with you

Fal

My good Lord: give your Lordship good time of the day. I am glad to see your Lordship abroad: I heard say your Lordship was sicke. I hope your Lordship goes abroad by advise. Your Lordship (though not clean past your youth) hath yet some smack of age in you: some rellish of the saltnesse of Time, and I most humbly beseech your Lordship, to have a reverend care of your health.

Just.

Sir John, I sent you before your Expedition, to Shrewsburie

Fal.

If it please your Lordship, I heare his Majestie is return'd with some discomfort from Wales

Just.

I talke not of his Majesty: you would not come when I sent for you?

Fal

And I heare moreover, his Highnesse is falne into this same whorson Apoplexie.

Just

Well, heaven mend him. I pray let me speak with you

Fal.

This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethargie, a sleeping of the blood, a horson Tingling

Just.

What tell you me of it? be it as it is

Fal

It hath it originall from much greefe; from study and perturbation of the braine. I have read the cause of his effects in Galen. It is a kinde of deafenesse

Just.

I thinke you are falne into the disease: For you heare not what I say to you

Fal.

Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't please you) it is the disease of not Listning, the malady of not Marking, that I am troubled withall

Just.

To punish you by the heeles, would amend the attention of your eares, & I care not if I be your Physitian

Fal

I am as poore as Job, my Lord; but not so Patient: your Lordship may minister the Potion of imprisonment to me, in respect of Povertie: but how I should bee your Patient, to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeede, a scruple it selfe

Just

I sent for you (when there were matters against you for your life) to come speake with me

Fal.

As I was then advised by my learned Councel, in the lawes of this Land-service, I did not come

Just.

Wel, the truth is (sir John) you live in great infamy Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, ca[n]not live in lesse

Just.

Your Meanes is very slender, and your wast great

Fal

I would it were otherwise: I would my Meanes were greater, and my waste slenderer

Just.

You have misled the youthfull Prince

Fal.

The yong Prince hath misled mee. I am the Fellow with the great belly, and he my Dogge

Just.

Well, I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound: your daies service at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded over your Nights exploit on Gads-hill. You may thanke the unquiet time, for your quiet o're-posting that Action

Fal.

My Lord?

Just.

But since all is wel, keep it so: wake not a sleeping Wolfe

Fal

To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to smell a Fox

Iu.

What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out

Fal.

A Wassell-Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.

Just.

here is not a white haire on your face, but shold have his effect of gravity

Fal

His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy

Just

You follow the yong Prince up and downe, like his evill Angell

Fal.

Not so (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I hope, he that lookes upon mee, will take mee without, weighing: and yet, in some respects I grant, I cannot go: I cannot tell. Vertue is of so little regard in these Costormongers, that true valor is turn'd Beare-heard. Pregnancie is made a Tapster, and hath his quicke wit wasted in giving Recknings: all the other gifts appertinent to man (as the malice of this Age shapes them) are not woorth a Gooseberry. You that are old, consider not the capacities of us that are yong: you measure the heat of our Livers, with the bitternes of your gals: & we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confesse, are wagges too

Just.

Do you set downe your name in the scrowle of youth, that are written downe old, with all the Charracters of age? Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheeke? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an incresing belly? Is not your voice broken? your winde short? your wit single? and every part about you blasted with Antiquity? and wil you cal your selfe yong? Fy, fy, fy, sir John

Fal.

My Lord, I was borne with a white head, & somthing a round belly. For my voice, I have lost it with hallowing and singing of Anthemes. To approve my youth farther, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in judgement and understanding: and he that will caper with mee for a thousand Markes, let him lend me the mony, & have at him. For the boxe of th' eare that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a sensible Lord. I have checkt him for it, and the yong Lion repents: Marry not in ashes and sacke-cloath, but in new Silke, and old Sacke

Just

Wel, heaven send the Prince a better companion

Fal.

Heaven send the Companion a better Prince: I cannot rid my hands of him

Just.

Well, the King hath sever'd you and Prince Harry, I heare you are going with Lord John of Lancaster, against the Archbishop, and the Earle of Northumberland

Fal

Yes, I thanke your pretty sweet wit for it: but looke you pray, (all you that kisse my Ladie Peace, at home) that our Armies joyn not in a hot day: for if I take but two shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweat extraordinarily: if it bee a hot day, if I brandish any thing but my Bottle, would I might never spit white againe: There is not a daungerous Action can peepe out his head, but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last ever.

Just

Well, be honest, be honest, and heaven blesse your Expedition

Fal

Will your Lordship lend mee a thousand pound, to furnish me forth?

Just.

Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient to beare crosses. Fare you well. Commend mee to my Cosin Westmerland.

Fal.

If I do, fillop me with a three-man-Beetle. A man can no more separate Age and Covetousnesse, then he can part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the Degrees prevent my curses. Boy?

Page

Sir

Fal.

What money is in my purse?

Page

Seven groats, and two pence

Fal.

I can get no remedy against this Consumption of the purse. Borrowing onely lingers, and lingers it out, but the disease is incureable. Go beare this letter to my Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of Westmerland, and this to old Mistris Ursula, whome I have weekly sworne to marry, since I perceiv'd the first white haire on my chin. About it: you know where to finde me. A pox of this Gowt, or a Gowt of this Poxe: for the one or th' other playes the rogue with my great toe: It is no matter, if I do halt, I have the warres for my colour, and my Pension shall seeme the more reasonable. A good wit will make use of any thing: I will turne diseases to commodity.

2. SCENE III.

Arch.

Let us on: And publish the occasion of our Armes. The Common-wealth is sicke of their owne Choice, Their over-greedy love hath surfetted: An habitation giddy, and unsure Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart. O thou fond Many, with what loud applause Did'st thou beate heaven with blessing Bullingbrooke, Before he was, what thou would'st have him be? And being now trimm'd in thine owne desires, Thou (beastly Feeder) art so full of him, That thou provok'st thy selfe to cast him up. So, so, (thou common Dogge) did'st thou disgorge Thy glutton-bosome of the Royall Richard, And now thou would'st eate thy dead vomit up, And howl'st to finde it. What trust is in these Times? They, that when Richard liv'd, would have him dye, Are now become enamour'd on his grave. Thou that threw'st dust upon his goodly head When through proud London he came sighing on, After th' admired heeles of Bullingbrooke, Cri'st now, O Earth, yeeld us that King againe, And take thou this (O thoughts of men accurs'd) Past, and to Come, seemes best; things Present, worst

Mow

Shall we go draw our numbers, and set on?

Hast.

We are Times subjects, and Time bids, be gon.

This is a selection from the original text

Keywords

gold, incurable, pound, sick, virtue, worm-eaten

Source text

Title: THE SECOND PART OF KING HENRY IV

Author: William Shakespeare

Publisher: Project Gutenberg.org

Publication date: 2000

Original compiled 1596-1599

Provenance/location: This text was transcribed from images available at Project Gutenberg: http://www.gutenberg.org/ Original compiled 1596-1599

Digital edition

Original author(s): William Shakespeare

Language: English

Selection used:

  • 1 ) Induction
  • 2 ) Act I Scene II
  • 2 ) Section from Act I Scene III

Responsibility:

Texts collected by: Ayesha Mukherjee, Amlan Das Gupta, Azarmi Dukht Safavi

Texts transcribed by: Muhammad Irshad Alam, Bonisha Bhattacharya, Arshdeep Singh Brar, Muhammad Ehteshamuddin, Kahkashan Khalil, Sarbajit Mitra

Texts encoded by: Bonisha Bhattacharya, Shreya Bose, Lucy Corley, Kinshuk Das, Bedbyas Datta, Arshdeep Singh Brar, Sarbajit Mitra, Josh Monk, Reesoom Pal

Encoding checking by: Hannah Petrie, Gary Stringer, Charlotte Tupman

Genre: Britain > plays

For more information about the project, contact Dr Ayesha Mukherjee at the University of Exeter.

Acknowledgements