Miscellany Poems
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Introductory notes
Miscellany Poems,
By Mr. DENNIS:
WITH
Select Translations
OF
HORACE
JUVENAL,
Mons. BOILEAUs Epistles,
Satrys, &c.
And AESOPs FABLES,
in Burlesque Verse.
To which is added,
The PASSION of BYBLIS:
WITH SOME
Critical Reflections on Mr. OLDHAM,
and his Writing.
With LETTERS and POEMS.
The Second Edition with large Additions.
LONDON, Printed for Sam. Briscoe in Covent-Garden, M DC XC VII
PUBLISHED FOR Sam. Briscoe
1697
1.
1.1.
[Page 70]
1.1.1. FABLE.
The Wolfand the Horse.
ISgrim had all the Winter far'd
So very ill, his looks Men fear'd.
He had (poor Dog!) got an evil habit,
Of going to Bed with the Devil a bit;
So that he had contracted a meen,
Which truly represented Famine.
A filthy Figure, rude and gruff,
As hungry Bullies who lye rough.
Whilst free from Pinching and from Danger,
The Cattle lay at Rack and Manger.
When Winter quarters they forsook,
And to Encamp, the Field they took;
Hight Isgrim spy'd a sleek plump Steed,
Who with that appetite did feed,
One would have sworn, that his fresh Sallad
Was not distastful to his Palate.
[Page 71]
At sight of Steed that's one huge bit of Fat,
Hight Isgrim's heart for joy went pit a pat.
Ah Rogue! have I found thee? how happy
Would Isgrim be, if he could but nab thee?
But I had rather now by half,
Thou wert a Mutton or a Calf.
Then could I truss thee up as readily,
As I could after eat thee greedily.
But thou art such a damn'd great Beast,
That I must plot before I feast.
Come let us plot then, pray why not?
Sure duller Dogs than I can plot.
Then Isgrim puts on Phyz of Gravity,
Phyz, that agrees with deeds of pravity;
As does with Satan Phyz of Hag.
Then Isgrim thus accosts the Nag:
Your Servant, Sir, may, please your Worship,
To let me inform you, that my Curship
[Page 74]
Is, tho I say't, a Beast of Parts,
And right well skill'd in medicinal arts.
A Doctor who was ne'r yet gravell'd,
Who, for experience long has travel'd.
Who has had the luck to have confuted,
All those with whom he e're disputed.
I've had the honour to prescribe,
Long to your Worships noble tribe.
And several worthy generous Horses,
Are now by my advice in Courses.
Of which each honourable Palfrey
Is from his ailings more than half free.
I speak to your Worship in this fashion,
Because I've of your Case compassion.
For says our Art, to see a Steed,
Thus foully like your Worship feed,
Betokens great indisposition,
And calls for a severe Physician.
[Page 75]
Now if you will but only please
To open to me your Disease;
I Doctor Isgrim without failing,
Will gratis cure your Worship's ailing.
Palfrey gave Isgrim such a cross leer,
As Horse at's Oats does roguish Ostler.
Doctor, I have, as you will find;
An Ulcer in my Foot behind.
And offer here the part affected,
To be by your Doctorship inspected.
Then Palfrey, with his lifted Foot,
Whilst Isgrim was approaching to't,
With roguish treacherous intention,
Wisely thought fit to use prevention:
And had at's ugly Face a fling,
Which Teeth from Jobbernoul did ding,
Made his Eyes stare, and his Ears sing.
Then to the bloody mangled Elf,
Phyz, says the Horse, go cure thy self.
[Page 74]
Introth, says Isgrim, wondrous sad,
What thou hast e'en deserv'd thou hast had.
You must go act the Doctor, Booby!
Yes you! incorrigible Looby!
You must go set up for a Leech!
Tho by thy actions and thy speech,
The veriest Sots may see with scorn,
That thou art Butcher bred and born.
[Page 75]
1.1.2. MORAL.
TO force thy Genius is a thing,
Will scorn and mischif on thee bring.
For affectation, Ape of Nature,
Is soon found out, and then all hate her.
Wh'as soon as seen no more escapes
Being laugh'd at, than your true Apes.
Who to surrounding Mob rehearse,
By looks and gestures a dumb Farce.
Of all affected Fools, the Grave
A long preheminence must have.
No folly ere can theirs surpass,
For since gravity in an Ass,
In whom 'tis natural's so ridiculous?
How must the affected grave beast tickle us?
[Page 79]
The place for which thou art unfit,
Thou wilt decline if thou hast wit.
To which if it should threaten danger,
Take still more care to prove a Stranger.
For if in such you'l needs be doing,
Twill prove your Plague, if not your Ruine.
You can't keep long in such a Station,
Without the help of affectation;
Andaffectation in this case,
Has something worse than its Grimace;
Betrays your blind side to your Foes,
And lays you open to their Blows.
As in a Stream if you plunge him,
Who paddles and but half can Swim,
He strait must in it or be lost, or
With many an unnat'ral posture,
With many a slounce and many a strain,
Himself on th' adverse Flood sustain:
And if he's there attack'd by Foe,
At last must to the bottom go.
[Page 78]
(For no Expedient can he try,
Being neither free to fight nor fly).
So one in place to which his Talent,
Compar'd is not found equivalent;
T'uphold himself in a wrong station,
Must use eternal affectation.
Must be by all Spectators seen,
With a false Face and a forc'd Meen.
By violence done to himself so harrass'd,
So plagu'd, so pester'd, so embarrass'd;
His puzled mind ne'r finds Vacation,
To look before for Preservation;
Too clogg'd for dextrous quick evasion,
On any suddain nice occasion.
Can such a one himself defend
From deadliest Enemy, false Friend;
The Villain with a smiling Face,
Who stabs and damns with an Embrace?
No, as the Body, so the Mind
Can't on its guard be when consin'd
[Page 78]
Isgrim might have been quick enouff,
To have escap'd the Steed's Rebuff:
If the grave Doctor had not been
Too careful to maintain his meen;
And too much taken up to heed
The motion or design of Steed.
For all who with dissembled meen,
Fain what they are, not would be seen;
Possessing but the Forms alone,
And not the Powers of Gifts they own;
Have for that reason Forms affected;
The more, to pass the less suspcted.
(And therefore Hypocritick Wight
Seems more devout than the Upright).
And when their thick and gross disguise
Has serv'd to hoodwink their own Eyes:
Like Children when themselves they blind,
They' have thought no others could them find.
Tho their proceeding works effect
Contrary oft to what they expect:
[Page 81]
As is apparent by our Fable:
For Isgrim neither Learn'd nor able,
Imagin'd he might fine for Sense,
Out of his stock of Impudence,
And positive grave Impertinence.
And thought t'enjoy a Bliss that's double,
The priviledge on't, without the trouble.
But he o'reacted so his part,
That he got nothing by't, but smart.
Which shew'd him a confounded Sott,
When he imagin'd he could Plot;
Because he could a Mutton fegue:
They're Brains, not Teeth that serve t'intregue.
And there's requir'd much more skill in,
A speculative than practick Villain.
Beware by him, and meddle not,
If thou'rt no Statesman, with a Plot.
[Page 82]
Plots, which are dangerous edge Tools,
Have always Fatal been to Fools;
Who after all the Snares they have laid,
Have only found themselves betray'd.
And most inextricably hamper'd,
Unless they've seasonably scamper'd.
As you perhaps have seen a Thrush,
Fluttering tangled in a Bush,
To which it has been glew'd and clung,
By birdlime made of its own Dung.
So Treason ill-contriv'd and dull,
The very Excrement of Skull,
Lays by the Heels its plotting Gull.
The Devil ow'd Tegue, without all question,
A spight when Tegue by Devil's suggestion,
Set up for Souldiering and Plotting,
Whose only Talent was Bogtrotting.
[Page 83]
What was th' event? at every Battle,
We took whole thousands meer white Cattle,
And more were mawl'd in one year i'th' Field,
Than other Beasts, in three in Smithfield.
One who was only drub'd ith' Fray,
Like Isgrim howling ran a way,
And as he ran was heard to say;
Dear Joy, thou hast both Killing scap'd and Hanging,
And by my shoul, Joy, thou'st deserv'd thy Banging.
[Page 117]
1.2. FABLE.
Of the Wolf and the Fox.
A Fox in a deep Well, one Night
Spy'd the full Moon, the goodly Sight
Whey-colour'd, large and round, did appear,
A swinging Cheese, which made him caper;
He had a longing wild Distemper,
Frequent to persons of his Temper.
By th' learn'd in medicinal Lore call'd Canine
Appetite, by the Mob call'd Famine.
The two large Buckets which were there,
Like Pollux and like Castor were.
How so pray? For 'tis devilish odd,
To liken a Bucket to a God;
When one came up from towards the Center,
That in our upper world strait went there.
These drew by turns the liquid Element;
Into one got Renard, and towards Hell he went,
[Page 118]
To taste of Tantalus his Feast:
Which finely Bob'd its gaping Guest.
Arriv'd he soon was undeceiv'd,
But frighted terribly and griev'd.
Bilk'd of the bait he thought was his'n,
And for his life he fear'd in prison.
Since Renard Fate in Dungeon cast,
She sentence on him seem'd t'have past.
He had no way to be repreiv'd,
Unless by a like Sot reliev'd,
Who hoping on his Cheese to feed,
Might in his place and pain succeed.
Two days and nights h'had been in Dungeon,
Water his Breakfast, Dinner, Nuncheon.
Now in this space old Time did knaw
From Renard's Cheese with Iron Jaw,
A pritty handsome lusty Sliver.
When Sharper Isgrim does arrive there,
Who makes a shift with his small Sense,
To live at Country Squires expence.
[Page 119]
Now him as soon as Renard spies,
What, Bully Isgrim there he cryes!
In faith, dear Rogue, I'm glad to see thee:
How hast thou far'd this long time, prethee?
Poorly? but set thy heart at rest,
To night, thou e'en shalt be my Guest.
Dost see this Cheese, which I've been munching,
Of which I've gobbled down this Lunching.
Odd! 'tis a rare one, a neat Jade,
Who ever was the Dairy-maid.
I have on purpose set thee a Tub,
In which thou mayst come down and Sup;
Here's special Food and special Bub.
And thus for want of Sense, was Bully
Isgrim harangu'd to Renard's Cully.
Down he goes swinging in the Bucket,
Which hoisting Renard's, up does pluck it.
He towards the top with merry Glee,
Mounting Sung, Hey Boys up goe we.